I only get my news from ABC 7 News
Dumbarton Bridge will be closed during Memorial Day

ABC7 NEWS: Bridge officials have announced the Dumbarton Bridge will be closed during Memorial Day weekend for seismic retrofit work.

Are you crapping me?  There isn’t an earthquake due for decades.

Do you still rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher?

ABC7 NEWS: Old habits are hard to break, including rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. But Consumer Reports says you can give yourself, and the environment, a break and stop rinsing those dishes!

Do you still rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher?

Hells to the no!  I wipe them off with paper towels first.  #environment!

California does not have an early quake warning system

ABC7 NEWS: The technology for an early quake warning system is available in places like Japan and Mexico, but what about California? After five years, an early earthquake warning system for California is in beta testing now, but given the state’s financial crisis, no one can say when it will be ready for use statewide.

Does it surprise you that California has yet to have a fully functional early quake warning system?

Jeesh, how expensive could it be?  I got mine for under ten bucks at a pawn shop.

Whitney Houston died from drowning

ABC7 NEWS: The Los Angeles Coroner has ruled that singer Whitney Houston died from drowning. Heart disease and cocaine use were contributing factors.

The Los Angeles coroner frigging rules!

Meryl Streep wins best actress for “The Iron Lady”

ABC7 NEWS: The Oscar for best actress in a leading role goes to Meryl Streep for her role in ‘The Iron Lady.’

Meryl Streep and Glenn Close should play each other in a movie and settle this battle for good.

I’m convinced that’s Glenn Close accepting the award as Meryl Streep.

Incidentally, Meryl Streep is wearing Glenn Close’s curtains.

"The Descendants" authors win Oscar for best adapted screenplay

ABC7 NEWS: The Oscar for best adapted screenplay goes to Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash for ‘The Descendants.’ Have you seen it?

No, which is strange, because I never miss a Nat Faxon film.

Christopher Plummer is oldest actor to win Oscar

ABC7 NEWS: Christopher Plummer wins the Oscar for best supporting actor for his role in ‘Beginners.’ He becomes the oldest actor ever to win an Oscar.

You’re just saying he’s the oldest because the announcer just said that.  Don’t act like you already knew!

Octavia Spencer wins Oscar for supporting role in The Help

ABC7 NEWS: Octavia Spencer wins the Oscar for actress in a supporting role for her part in The Help.

She totally had me believing her character took a crap in that pie.

Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz were giggly announcing an Oscar

ABC7 NEWS: Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz were a little giggly announcing the makeup award. Do you like it when celebs let loose at awards shows?

No, it’s a travesty and hardly lady-like.

Hugo has won two Oscars so far

ABC7 NEWS: Hugo has won the first two awards of the telecast — Cinematography and achievement in art direction.

It also won best movie I walked out on.

What do you think of the Oscars opening bit?

ABC7 NEWS: What did you think of the opening (Oscars) bit? Which spoof was your favorite?

I tuned in too late. Thanks for ruining it for me (the fact there was an opening bit).

Caltrans spelling error on highway sign

ABC7 NEWS: Oops. Caltrans may want to use spell-check the next time it puts up a highway sign in the North Bay. There is an embarrassing misspelling on a highway sign on Highway 101 in Sonoma County (the sign spells Rohnert Park as “Ronhert Park”).

Holy crap, that IS embarrassing.  EGG ON FACE, Caltrans!  Management better kick the damage control into gear before this tornado of a story spreads.

Do you plan on participating in the primary election?

ABC7 News: Do you plan on participating in the primary election?

Yes, me plus one. I will be bringing a fruit platter and napkins.

Parking in SF

ABC7 NEWS: Have you ever been so frustrated you couldn’t find parking in the city it deterred you from going somewhere or attending an event?

The worst is when you find a spot but the event ends up sucking. It’s like, ugh, all that parking for naught.

Eliminate UC tuition in exchange for 5% on future income?

ABC7 NEWS: Is this a good idea? An idea UC President Mark Yudof says is worth considering would eliminate tuition and have students commit to paying five percent of their annual income over 20 years.

Why isn’t this story about the rain we’re getting this weekend?